Marriage: When a Man Meets His Woman Essay

â€Å"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.† (New International Version, Genesis 2.24) Marriage as we all know is the union of a man and a woman to become husband and wife. Marriage is where the smallest unit of the society begins––the family. Marriage is the door to procreation. Marriage is a sacred vow and according to Hebrews 13.4, â€Å"Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.† Marriage is a game that children play. When children are tired of playing, they simply quit. When children encounter problems while playing, they quit. When they want to play again, they simply do so. Marriage is a deep relationship between the husband and the wife. It is intimate. It involves not only their physical self but their hearts and souls as well. Quitting is not an option should they become tired or should they encounter problems. Timothy had a good description of a responsible husband, â€Å"Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money† (1 Timothy 3.2–3). Though Timothy specifically dedicated these verses to an overseer (or a bishop during their time), the characteristics given are truly what a husband should possess in order to please God and to make their marriage last. Since a husband is the head of his family, he should really possess qualities that will help him manage the â€Å"small society† given to him by God. A man should seek God’s wisdom in choosing the woman to marry. Man, having free will, makes plans for himself. In most cases, these plans failed or never happened because those are not God’s plans. â€Å"Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails† (Proverbs 19.21). The Holy Bible describes the â€Å"perfect† woman to have fear of the Lord (Proverbs 31.30), has wisdom (Proverbs 31.26), and not quarrelsome (Proverbs 19.13). A woman can possess all these characteristics if she is living according to God’s will. With the Holy Bible as our reference, the first husband and wife were Adam and Eve. In the story of creation, God created man according to His image and likeness on the sixth day. He made man the steward of all His beautiful creations. God said in Genesis 2.18, â€Å"It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.† So God had Adam fell asleep, and took one of his ribs. Out of the rib God created the woman. Then Adam said in Genesis 2.23, â€Å"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.† So this is the love story of our great, great, great, great, great grandparents. If you are interested to know the ending of our love story, read Genesis to find out. If we are to analyze our course verse (Gen. 2.24), a man will leave his parents and will be united with the woman as one. They are no longer two separate, different individuals, but they are one. Marriage binds this two unrelated people into a sacred union. The man will now live not only for his own but for his wife. Same is true for the woman. Both will â€Å"forget† themselves and will create a new self out of two obviously different individuals. This is in accordance to 1 Corinthians 7.4 ­, â€Å"The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.† Also in Ephesians 5.28, â€Å"In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.† These two Bible passages do not refer to the physical body alone but to whole identity of the man and woman—physical, mental, emotional, social, spiritual, and let’s add financial. Being united as one, husbands and wives share resources. The â€Å"I† mentality is no longer applicable in marriage. It’s now the â€Å"us† or the â€Å"we.† A man’s burden is also his wife’s burden. A man’s achievements are also his wife’s achievements. A man’s failure is also his wife’s failure. A man’s dreams are also his wife’s dreams. In Genesis 2.18, God said that it is not good for a man to be alone. So He created a â€Å"helper† suitable for the man. â€Å"Helper† does not literally mean a house helper, or a slave, or a maidservant. Helper here means a co-worker; a colleague; and the most appropriate description of a helper, a partner. A husband now has a partner in everything. He has someone to share his goals, visions, aspirations, problems, weaknesses, and frustrations. He has someone to help him make decisions. He has someone he can rely on anytime. He has someone to grow old with. God binds a man and a woman in marriage. â€Å"So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate† (Matthew 19.6). It is very clear that no man should cause the fall out of anyone’s marriage. It is very clear that God’s plan in the very beginning is a lasting marriage for husbands and wives. Unfortunately, even during Moses’ time, divorce was already a show stopper. â€Å"If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house† (Deuteronomy 24.1). For the record, this was not God’s original plan. Laws for divorce were made because of the Israelites’ hard-headedness. But they could only file for a divorce if either one was proven guilty of marital unfaithfulness. â€Å"I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery† (Matthew 19.9). This is for the husband’s case. For the wife’s case, â€Å"So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man† (Romans 7.3). Paul, in his first letter to the Corinthians, also addressed the issue on divorce. â€Å"To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife† (1 Corinthians 7.10–11). The Holy Bible, from the Old Testament up to the New Testament, has teachings on divorce. This is how important and sacred marriage is for God. He wants every man and woman to enjoy the companion of each other. Hardships, troubles, and problems happened in marriage not to break it but to strengthen it. Some were not able to withstand the pressure brought about by these problems and ended their marriage. There are married couples today, who are having problems with their relationship, opt for divorce, believing that this is the best solution for their problems. What comes after divorce? Annulment, the couples now arrange the invalidation, dissolution, termination of their marriage contract.   The sacredness of marriage is slowly being neglected. If fact, there were some who re-marry after annulment. Marriage is a lifetime vow. Only death can separate a husband from her wife. This is God’s original plan. 1 Corinthians 7.39 says, â€Å"A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.† In this verse, the wife is only freed from the marriage vow because of the death of her husband. God wants every husband and wife to enjoy their vow as long as they live. How can a marriage last? Married couples who put God in the center of their relationship will definitely last. God, being the author of one’s life, never fails anyone who trusts and completely obeys His will. In Proverbs 16.3, â€Å"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed,† God assures married couples that whatever plans they have, success is an assurance, provided that they commit their lives to the Lord. God has given many advices on how to have a successful marriage. All of these can be found in the Holy Bible. So it is advisable for everyone, not for married couples only, to meditate the Word of God day and night (Joshua 1.8) because the Holy Bible contains God’s laws, promises, blessings, curses, and precautions that will serve as our guide. In Colossians 3.18, God instructed wives to submit to their husbands because this is His will. Husbands are also required to love their wives and never ever be harsh to them (Colossians 3.19). One marriage conflict is who has the authority over the family. In Colossians 3.18, wives should submit to their husbands. Also recall that God created man to become the steward of His creation. Woman was created to become man’s helper or a partner steward of God’s creations. Another answer to who has the authority over the family is written in Ephesians 5.23–24, â€Å"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.† Wives submission to their husbands does not mean that the husbands are in charge of everything. As partners, they are both involved in decision-making and planning. But wives should acknowledge the fact that their husbands are the team leaders of the family. As team leaders, husbands preside the â€Å"meeting† and distribute the task to the whole members of the family. 1 Peter 3.1–2 says, â€Å"Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.† Actions speak louder than words. If someone’s husband is still an unbeliever, the actions of his wife, according to the previous Bible passage, can make the husband become interested in learning God’s words. According to Proverbs 12.4, â€Å"A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones.† So a wife’s submissive attitude is worthy for her husband will truly respect her. Not only that, God will be pleased with her because according to 1 Peter 3.4, â€Å"Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quite spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.† Though wives should submit to their husbands, the husbands in turn should not abuse their wives submissiveness. â€Å"Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayer.† (1 Peter 3.7) The Book of Proverbs says how precious a husband’s wife is and why she deserves to earn her husband’s respect, â€Å"He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the LORD† (Proverbs 18.22); â€Å"Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD† (Proverbs 19.14). So a prudent, well-respected wife is the Lord’s gift to faithful husband. Respect, aside from love, is a very important component of marriage. Respect in fact is one way of showing love to your husband or to your wife. Never ever disrespect your husband or your wife for this could be the start of a misunderstanding. God had promised Abraham that he will become the father of all nations and that his children will become as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore (Genesis 22.17). The fulfillment of this promise is dependent on procreation, which is legitimate to married couples. Even before God revealed the promise to Abraham, He already declared that He will increase the number of humans on Earth, â€Å"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it† (Genesis 1.27–28). To this day, many recognize Abraham as the father of all nations. God’s promise was fulfilled. God loves man so much that He encourages the procreation of many men. Man, among all God’s creation, is the most especial creation because man is created according to His own image and likeness. He enjoys seeing His wonderful creation. Above all, God considers men His children. â€Å"Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease† (Jeremiah 29.6). In the book authored by Rick Warren, The Purpose-Driven Life, he identified the five main reasons why God created man. Man is created to worship God, to have fellowship with other men, to be trained to become Christ’s disciplines, to participate in God’s ministries, and to evangelize the words of God. God deserves to be worshipped. God loves to see His wonderful creations worshipping Him. Through marriage, more men will worship God. This is way God wants men to increase in number, not to decrease. Because God wants to see many men giving Him praise. Men should have fellowship with one another. God wants to see how His wonderful creations enjoy the company of one another. Fellowship is one way to develop a harmonious relationship among God’s children. Fellowship is also a training ground for us to become disciplines of Christ. Once trained, we can now participate in God’s ministries. And most of all, we His children are being prepared to evangelize, to spread the Good News of salvation. You may think that this is no longer related to marriage. But all these things started from the union of a man and a woman. Above all, everything has started from the wonderful plan of God for us. God wants to establish a nation of men who will worship Him. To do this, our God created the universe, which we know as the story of creation. To start the nation, He created a man and a woman. God created marriage so this man and woman could start to procreate and increase the number of men and women on Earth. Millions of years had past. Today is our present time. Today, many men and women submitted to the vow of marriage. Unfortunately, many marriages encountered so many problems. Unfortunately, these problems cause the destruction of some marriages. The sacredness of marriage is not preserved. Procreation, which should be done under the oath of marriage, is related now to pre-marital sex. God has a perfect plan for us. God made marriage to be sacred and holy. Divorce is detestable to God. Let us spread the awareness on the true reasons why God created marriage. God gave us the Holy Bible to be our guide in our daily living. The Holy Bible has many teachings on marriage. Marriage is supposed to unite a man and a woman deeply in love with one another. Marriage is a lifetime relationship. Marriage combines two persons into one. God, through marriage, created one individual out of two. What God has created, no one should separate. More importantly, marriage is the very reason life continues to exist.   WORK CITED The Holy Bible, New International Version. USA: International Bible Society, 1984. Warren, Rick. The Purpose-Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For? USA: 2002.